#reckoning verse
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I feel like charles definitely had a breakdown when it was revealed earlier this year that max really struggled with his vision after the Silverstone crash
Oh yeah obviously. Tears probably. Max had to awkwardly pet him like um schat that was three years ago, I'm fine, meanwhile Charles is there sobbing, like what do you mean you couldn't see, I almost lost you and Max is like bitch did you didn't even like me back then and Charles is like that is so not the point, Leo and Roscoe are not going to be friends, still crying, Max still petting going like.. what?
#leo and roscoe are already friends obviously#he probably gets over it in a bit#i reckon he still takes max to an optometrist at least once just to check though#max goes just to shut him up#asks#yours verse
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gonna try and collect all the relevant lines in season 3 (and maybe earlier) regarding both the power and impotence of storytelling in the silt verses because the latest episode's decision to have the liar saint team up with a cameraman to document her atrocities while her boss plans how to spin it into propaganda back home has me cooking
#🐉#like. i have a feeling that all this narrative push and pull each of the characters have reckoned with this season#is gonna start to convege reallllllll soon.#the silt verses spoilers
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I just think, the idea that Disha is lying about Kyoshi's honor and stuff to put some kind of wedge between Roku and Kyoshi would be really cool and spy-y and would fit really well with the weird Cold War-eque/espionage that Roku's era seems to want to emulate. It'd be a cool way of making him doubt himself without realizing he's doubting himself.
And it'd also force a parallel between Roku/Kyoshi and Kyoshi/Kuruk. How, while Kuruk appeared in RoK and Kyoshi didn't have the best opinion of him, really ramped up in her sequel novel to the point she wanted to fucking brawl him. The way it's set up now, Roku's timidness and confusion with Kyoshi could easily fester into the same hatred and want to confront her in Roku's sequel novel too.
And I'm also just grasping at straws but I just really fucking hate how RR is trying to drag Kyoshi through the gd mud. And like it just doesn't work with the knowledge we already know about her and he could've done something (anything really, he didn't utilize her at all) else with her character in Rokus era that would've better explored... and I'm also a bit of a bitter bitch about it. tbh
#no I just think the way the picture is framed is how i feel#less I want to use the meme as intended and more 'i'm vibbing with the FEEL of the picture despite what the meme is suppose to mean TT0TT#'silly are you saying you are saying something controversial yet brave#reckoning of roku#disha#kyoshi#rise of kyoshi#shadow of kyoshi#roku salt#chronicles of the avatar#i think roku's era is emulating a cold war of sorts....I don't really care tbh TT0TT#i think most of that info is in the RPG table top game and....I'm not verse in that tbh#i only have crumbs to work with#but i'm going to make the spiciest meal out of those crumbs#a mountain out of a mole hill energy if you will#i do not trust RR to do something this intricate#his writing did NOT inspire confidence in me TT0TT#i have like 18 topics about this damn thing it lives rent free in my head and I NEED IT TO START PAYING
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Source: Box Office Mojo, retrieved on 11th Feb, 2024. (Wonka's still showing in theatres so it's total will go up but that's probably not going to change its ranking)
#barbie #super mario bros #oppenheimer #guardians of the galaxy #fast x #spider man: across the spider verse #wonka #the little mermaid #mission impossible: dead reckoning #elemental
#Damn son! 7th biggest film in worldwide box office#barbie#super mario bros#wonka#oppenheimer#guardians of the galaxy#fast x#spider man: across the spider verse#the little mermaid#mission impossible: dead reckoning#elemental#box office#box office cume#box office cumulative
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hey world of darkness people, here's a survey for you to fill out to give paradox some feedback on what they're doing and what direction you wanna see wod head down in general
#wod#world of darkness#vampire: the masquerade#vtm#changeling: the dreaming#ctd#werewolf: the apocalypse#wta#mage: the ascension#mta#hunter: the reckoning#htr#etc etc#please be honest with them#i know there's been a general dip in interest in wod due to a couple community mishaps that went down#so help them figure out a new direction#i love wod and and its verses and i'd like to kinda see them get back on their feet because boy#The Horrors
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My Best of 2023: Posters
My Best of 2023 is a series of annual lists in which I pick the best of the best from 2023, all leading up to my official picks for My Top 10 Films of 2023.
My Top 10 11 Posters of 2023!
I'm just gonna let these speak for themselves. I'm kinda wild about the Top 5, but the rest are still all shades of great.
Note: As always, these picks have nothing to do with my thoughts or the quality of the films, only the posters themselves and how they sold the films to me.
Enjoy!
-Timothy Patrick Boyer.
Next Up: Assorted (Animated Feature, Foreign Film, Editing, Screenplay, Etc.).
More of My Best of 2023...
#film#movies#best of 2023#mybestof2023#movie posters#movie poster#poor things#oppenheimer#the zone of interest#infinity pool#asteroid city#spider man: across the spider verse#mission: impossible - dead reckoning - part one#the killer#dream scenario#killers of the flower moon#movie#cinema#lists#wes anderson#etc.
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( continued from here with @slxver-scrxm )
Arriving in the fog hadn't killed its urge for treasures, for shinies, for weapons. It was a truly insatiable need that awoke every time the goose knew there was a chance for treasures, no matter how small. For thatt reason, he shouldn't have wasted his breath trying to tell the goose that it could take from the survivor. This was partly because the goose's quest for treasures had already almost made it start hounding him for more things, and partly because the goose didn't understand a word he said.
As if the goose was trying to make it obvious that it understood absolutely nothing, it stared up at him with those beady, blank little eyes that were empty of impulse control and sense. For once, they weren't fully empty of intelligent life; if he'd looked hard enough, he might have been able to see the wheels in its head turning as it decided whether or not to use its new gift on its new friend; it was a unstable loyalty, after all.
Since this guy wasn't screaming and running away, wasn't trying to escape it, and had given it the knife in its beak, the urge that'd been lit like a fire when it first arrived would have to be satisfied by someone else, and not its new ally. It gave him a muffled honk through the handle of the knife.
#ic#slxverscrxm#honkhonk : goose#verse : reckoning#ooc: i love them so much already omfg#put it in the queue
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Top 10 BEST Movies of 2023
Happy New Year everyone! Hope you all partied hard and are now surviving a dreadful hangover by sitting with your family or friends and enjoying a well deserved marathon of Lord of the Rings. 2023 - what a year! In the movie biz alone there were those little minor events known as the strikes of the actors and writers. Just when we thought COVID was over and stopped affecting releases, these strikes were like “errr no, actually..!”. To be fair, the way the streaming services were underpaying their actors and the studios enforcing AI so much into the media, it was good that these artists stood up for themselves and showed it to the man so to speak! Anyway, we’re not here to talk Hollywood politics, but to celebrate all the quality filmmaking that was exhibited this past year. I’d say in all honesty this year felt weaker compared to 2022. To be fair last year gave us Everything Everywhere All at Once, Top Gun: Maverick and of course the legendary RRR, so the bar was high for 2023. That being said, I still enjoyed some solid films, so let’s rank my Top 10 favourite movies of 2023, but first some honourable mentions…
HONOURABLE MENTIONS:
Evil Dead Rise - one heck of a gore fest, and the best opening title card of the year hands down!
Past Lives - a simple yet brutally honest love story.
The Boy and the Heron - Wanna hear Robert Pattinson sound like not Robert Pattinson?!
Guy Richie’s The Covenant - The least Guy Ritchie film Guy Ritchie directed.
The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar - Wes Anderson and Roald Dahl are a match made in heaven.
Barbie - I’m Just Ken…need I say more??
Wonka - Timmy makes for a good Willy.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 - A solid Marvel entry - a rarity these days.
Tetris - Gosh those tetrominos really get ya!
Right, with that, let’s get into the actual fun stuff - The Top 10 Best Movies of 2023!…
10) MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: DEAD RECKONING - PART ONE - Tom Cruise - what a guy! I mean yes he’s a Scientologist, has a constant death wish by breaking his ankles on film sets and also guilty of jumping on Oprah’s sofa like a monkey, but my my is he a charmer! You guys know the drill with these Mission Impossible movies - Tom Cruise throws his body around like a potato fearing not for his life nor broken limbs, but you have to respect the man for wanting to give the audience their tickets’ worth of entertainment, and Dead Reckoning not disappoint! There’s never a dull moment, the action is constantly inventive and exciting, and honestly with how consistent the quality of these films are, I say keep ‘em coming, Cruise-man!
9) DREAM SCENARIO - Anyone who knows me knows how much I love me some Nicolas Cage! The guy’s an acting legend, and he’s had it rough a decade ago when he got stuck paying off hi tax money and starring in crappy B-movies, but recently he’s been on a hot streak of great original content, and Dream Scenario adds to that. I love this idea of a random dude suddenly appearing in people’s dreams for absolutely no reason. It’s so rare to have a new original conception in a film in our day and age, and the execution here is great. As a bonus, the movie features possibly the best fart joke in the history of the cinema.
8) FALLEN LEAVES - This features the deadest karaoke ever - the Finns sure know how to party!! Also bonus points for featuring an out-of-left-field reference to Jim Jarmusch’s zombie flick The Dead Don’t Die, which by no means is a great film, but the fact that the director of Fallen Leaves knows about such obscure pieces of cinema only reiterates the fact that he gets cinema. Which in this case is a straightforward romantic love story, but one that I instantly connected with. Reminded me of Compartment No. 6.
7) OPPENHEIMER - On one had this is probably the most “well-made” movie of 2023 cinematically speaking. Christopher Nolan does not hold back in using his typical non-linear way of storytelling, with the film weaving narratives and different time periods seamlessly as it explores the profound depths of a man who’s actions altered the world’s trajectory forever, for better or worse. It’s an incredible historical piece of cinema, and the movie gets extra points for the whole ‘Barbenheimer’ phenomenon, but the reason this film is not higher on the list is due to the fact that I believe it is overrated. Cause every single person raved about how bloody amazing this thing was, I became tired of the positivity. Yeah, I know, I’m being a Scrooge but what you gonna do about it?? Oppenheimer is stuck at No. 5!
6) ROBOT DREAMS - I’m sorry to go vulgar on this occasion, but my-my was I shipping this dog and it’s robot to absolutely fudge each others brains out!! Yet the movie happens to do the funny thing of being the biggest cockblock ever….. and that’s the best thing it could have done. Simplistic cartoon-network style animation made beautiful by an earnest story, accompanied by the delightful sounds of Earth, Wind & Fire.
5) KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON - When a movie forces you to stay in the cinema for over 3 hours, it better be one epic film, as your man here was straining his bladder to health threatening levels. However this is a Martin Scorsese picture, as such this is event cinema! And this one may be up there with one of his best. Killers of the Flower Moon is a major saga of greed, murder, corruption and despair, told through the eyes of a filmmaker who somehow is still managing to mature more as a director even though he’s already over 80 years of age.
4) THE HOLDOVERS - The Holdovers is very much a vibes movie. It has that old-timey retro feel to it from how it is shot to make it look like it’s from the 70s (reminiscent of John Hughes films and Dead Poets Society). You also have the constant snow falling and the Christmas music just really delivers that cozy winter feel. It’s a wholesome Christmas movie through and through. Paul Giamatti gives a career-best performance and the writing is absolutely stellar, as such The Holdovers is destined to become a holiday classic.
3) BEAU IS AFRAID - A 3-hour long anxiety attack that A24 spent $30 million to produce. For a movie studio to spill out such a massive amount of cash on a completely original IP that is divisively out-there and wild is such a unique thing to happen in Hollywood in this day and age, that like the film or not this act needs to be applauded. It just so happens that Beau Is Afraid is batshit bonkers and truly an act of madness, yet one that I will forever cherish. I bet David Lynch had the biggest hard-on when he watched this movie - you betcha!
2) PERFECT DAYS - Essentially plays out like a live-action remake of WALL-E from the director of Paris, Texas. Honestly this is such a sweet and delightful film about a toilet cleaner doing his thang, and somehow inspired me to want to clean toilets myself. A beautiful piece of independent cinema that appreciates the little things, and truly embraces the ideology of stopping to smell the roses.
1) SPIDER-MAN: ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE - Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse is, put simply, brilliant! It’s everything that made Into the Spider-Verse great dialled up to 1000%, and the result is honestly fantastic. Look, I watch a lot of movies. And yeah, movies are great and I love them deeply. But in watching so many films I have in a way lost that magic of being in awe every time I go to the cinema. Cliches and repetitiveness in films stick out like sore thumbs. However with Across the Spider-Verse I felt like a kid again, purely stunned in amazement at every single frame, engaged with the characters and story-line, not knowing where it will go next. Like I cannot reiterate how much fun I had watching this movie! The animation is phenomenal, the narrative so rich, a pulse-throbbing music score (I even have Pemberton’s score on vinyl now just cause I love it so much!) superb character development and so many fun and unexpected twists and turns. Across the Spider-Verse is THE movie of 2023 for me and I believe this is the first time ever an animation took a top spot on my list. Here’s hoping Part 3 of the Spider-Verse saga will play out like The Return of the King!
There you have it - my favourite films of 2023. Naturally I don’t expect my list to be the same as yours, so don’t go throwing a tantrum if I missed out a movie you loved. Or do throw a tantrum, see if I care. But also don’t, cause like we’re all friends here, right? Right??!
#film#movie#film reviews#movie reviews#Top 10#best movies of 2023#top 10 best movies of 2023#2023 movies#2023 films#beau is afraid#oppenheimer#dream scenario#spider man across the spider verse#the holdovers#killers of the flower moon#mission impossible dead reckoning#Cinema#2023 in film#2023 in films#great movie#perfect days#fallen leaves#robot dreams
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this should surprise no one, but one of byan's ultimate goals in life is to own (and use) a sword.
#their mental image is them getting to walk around with it strapped to their back & pulling it out to hack up their enemies#but lbr the reality of it is them maybe finally owning one in the future but only being able to display it#it'll be a bittersweet day for them. a dream come true yet being shattered at the same time.#the only exception is their sci-fi verse where they do actually get their own sword AND get to use it to kick ass (ty ardaka ur the best)#they're v pleased with that. v happy to have not only the opportunity to own & use one but to learn to use it with deadly efficiency too#gosh I need to think about that verse more........ they're much more a force to be reckoned with#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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@templeofvengeance // continued from; research completed
The snap transition yielded the barest of reactions, navy-blue form wavering by matters of millimetres as a forearm is lifted to defend his chest. Faced with divinity, he's not completely opposed to retaliation if provoked, hard light blade constructs concealed for the foreseeable time, but summonable with a single thought if ever required. He hadn't spoken blindly, or with the explicit intent to attract the moon god's ire; trips across various dimensions, as well as developments in his own time had allowed the Society's leader to amass a level of familiarity with the ancient avian that couldn't be overlooked.
As well as expose the previously unseen, it seemed. That was something to ask of his own Khonsu, the next time he returned to his home reality. And happened to visit the bone bird's tomb on the moon.
"Didn't need to." Declining to validate the speculation hurled his way, his raised arm is soon joined by its matching pair as Miguel folds both limbs across a broad chest, impervious to the scrutiny that was anticipated to follow. Eyes hardly blink as his dual identities are plucked out of the ether without any difficulty, every success -- and failure to match -- fully exposed to a force that laid beyond mortal comprehension.
"Blunt as ever, I see." Gruff tone waxing with mild annoyance, the matter of how the moon god could deduce his intentions lied some ways outside of his interests, but it had its advantages, such as skipping over the usual spiel that Miguel was often required to recite when questions were raised regarding his presence in the places and planets that he visited. "Then you should also know that they've taken something of yours." The gamble's a high one, but he rolls with it regardless, a short parcel of information that wasn't guaranteed to hook at the ancient avian's attention.
Not that he necessarily required Khonsu's aid or that of his anointed agent on Earth, but Miguel still felt it was important to get ahead and dampen the god's anger at being the target of theft, before it had the chance to boil and simmer.
"He's gotten." In motion within seconds, he's already leaping off the edge into the shadows before the other has finished speaking, location narrowed as to where the aquatic Doctor Octopus variant had crawled off to, and would be plucked from, if he was given enough room to work, without any interference.
#templeofvengeance#verse; trasnaigh an rubaicón#howdy! <3 thankie so much for answering this! i'm excited tgyhuj#i've got you covered here; miguel's met /a/ version of the birb god before! i'll explore this more in the ask you sent me!#back in his own time of 2099#so he'd defo be familiar with other versions - he's probs met 2 to 3 different kinds of any marvel char you can think of i'd say!#so you're defo spot on with mig going all 'just an average khon - jake interact tfgyhuj#but pssst pls ! ramble away! i do the same in tags myself ngllll 🥴#for this i reckoned doc ock grabbed some old artefact of item of power that might be of significance to khon - or maybe another god? idk!
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closed. // @limitlessscion
❝ … I think , ❞ Which is to say , they have b e e n thinking ( thousands of years , several lifetimes , alone with themself & their thoughts but nowhere to put them — until now , vested within a man perched upon a pedestal looming in parallel to their own ) , ❝ It’ll never be the same. ❞ Spoken wistfully , smile tugging their lips as if , strangely , it a m u s e s them to offer such a confession. And lo’ how TRAGICALLY IRONIC , in truth , to be holding such a discussion with a sorcerer of all people— Kaen had thought it might be harder to say such things at all , but like everything else with Satoru : it comes naturally.
And this , like much of their time spent with him , seems to underlie with something IMPORTANT & MEANINGFUL ( beyond them both ; greater , grander , a tangle-thread of fate steadily-surely weaving them together ) .
Head tips tossing him a glance , eyes lidded with a tired sort of air ( exhausted merely to exist ) , ❝ I’ll never be like you , no matter what face I wear and no matter the good I do. ❞ A pause , sapphire hues flickering eerily , ❝ All those thousands o’years tryin’ so feckin’ desperately t’be more human , ❞ Hand lifts , palm empty of the answers they need , scarred fingers curling towards palm into a f i s t , head shaking as they scoff , huffing smoke out of their nose , ❝ All fer nothin’ ! ‘Cause all it did , really , was make me lonelier , make me … W o r s e . And now ? Well … ❞ Kaen chuckles , a dry and mirthless sound , head turning back into place , sending gaze upwards again , looking at nothing in particular , ❝ … Nothin’ like bein’ a miserable , lonely god. Kinda’ pathetic , honestly , wouldn’t y’say ? ❞
#❧ ⸺ how can ( queue ) say there is no story here ? ❞#❧ ⸺ ch. kaen | threads ❞#❧ ⸺ ch. kaen | verse xii: jjk ❞#limitlessscion#do lmk if i need to change this at all#kaeltyr is just big tired (tm)#i reckon this is probably like- the first time they've been quite so upfront abt these things tho#take that as you will
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OKAY. OKAY. HEAR ME OUT. Just more thinking below the cut after watching these damn movies for a flayed or corrupted verse:
Now after studying both Spree and Marmalade I have come up with a little fun mix-match bag of ideas here on what a corrupted or flayed Steve might come across as. So we know in season 1 before Steve's whole development arc that he was very into attention/popularity/looking good, right? Imagine being flayed or infected that brought out that quality and cranked it up to a ten. Like the need to get attention, have eyes on him, all those things. And negative reactions are not handled well, a lot like what we see with Kurt in Spree. He lashes out at those who do not give him the attention or positive reinforcement that he desires. Making him ruthless. But what if the corruption also takes a turn where Steve knows how to manipulate as well? He knows how to use that "act dumb and innocent. Give them the puppy eyes. They'll fall right for it" like how we have with Baron in Marmalade? I know a lot of people probably aren't even gonna bother reading this but can you IMAGINE the power this man could have? And all the potential angst? Dude, this could be soooooo good for a verse]]
#&& out of babysitting. [ooc]#&& corrupted/flayed verse#[[just brainstorming cuz I am kind of inspired]]#[[also the way steve's need to be noticed could be harnessed by the mind flayer too if it cranks it up like that.]]#[[he'd be a FORCE to be reckoned with]]#[[I...I kinda need this]]
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One of the most interesting things established in the Reckoning of Roku so far is the fact that Fire Nation Avatar struggle with detaching themselves from the Fire Nation and serving the Four Nations equally. It's sort of implied to be the case with Szeto who stayed as the Fire Nation's Royal Accountant, that one Fire Avatar in the vision Korra had at the end of book 1 who looks to be a Fire Lady (?), and in the end, why Roku seems to have failed as an Avatar.
Question is, I wonder if Fire Avatars are stereotyped for being decent Fire Nation politicians, but otherwise mediocre Avatars.
(Note: I'm not done with the book so do not spoil for me anything else)
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2023 in Movies, My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 3)
10. NIMONA – we almost didn’t get 2023’s most socially important animated feature. When Disney acquired Twentieth Century Fox and everything went tits up for its various affiliates, animation house Blue Sky Studios bit the dust just as this long-awaited adaptation of influential She-Ra & the Princesses of Power showrunner ND Stevenson’s beloved fantastical graphic novel from Spies In Disguise directors Nick Bruno and Troy Quaine was nearing completion, and it looked like it might never see the light of day … at least until Annapurna Pictures and Netflix swooped in to the rescue, snapping it up, funding its completion and getting it out on streaming to the delight of all of us who’d thought it was essentially LOST. The end result is just about THE VERY BEST movie I’ve ever seen about the struggles of being non-binary and not conforming to any set gender norms in modern society, viewed through the fantasy prism of a shapeshifting “teenager” who effortlessly steals their own film.�� Chloe Grace Moretz is perfectly cast as the voice of the titular misfit anarchist troublemaker supernatural being, who finds an opportunity for some fresh chaos by joining forces with Ballister Boldheart (Riz Ahmed), a newly-knighted commoner who becomes public enemy number one after being viciously framed for the murder of the queen of a futuristic medieval society (really!) built around chivalry and the righteous smiting of monsters. Ballister’s determined to prove his innocence, while Nimona just wants to create havoc, while they’re both being hunted by his former fellow knights, led by his ex-boyfriend Ambrosius Goldenloin (Eugene Lee Yang of The Try Guys), a direct descendent of the Kingdom’s legendary original monster slaying heroine Gloreth. It’s a gloriously original piece of work, the animation presented in a truly GORGEOUS brightly coloured 2-dimensional 3D graphic style that at once riffs on the ingenious visual inventiveness of the Spider-Verse movies while also creating something COMPLETELY NEW but simultaneously lovably reminiscent of the classic Blue Sky cartoony look, while the frequently chaotic action is just as infectiously anarchic as the lead character herself. It’s also fiendishly brilliant in its subversive message and twisty logic, making the viewer question what being a monster REALLY means, and if what we SEE someone as REALLY IS their true identity. Needless to say, Moretz runs away with the whole film, while the character of Nimona herself is a truly ENCHANTING and thoroughly inspiring creation who’s destined to become an iconic hero for non-binary and trans kids around the world, but Ahmed and Yang are clearly having a great time here too, as is Frances Conroy as the Director of the Kingdom’s knights, having a blast bringing icy menace to her deliciously duplicitous villainous turn. It’s an incredibly FUN movie, shot through with a rich and rewardingly infectious sense of humour, taking classic fantasy tropes and turning them on their head in new and wonderfully inventive ways, but it knows JUST when to get serious too, and there are some powerful moments when it grabs hold of your heart and DESTROYS YOU emotionally, especially in the incredibly evocative climax. Ultimately this ISN’T an overly faithful adaptation of Stevenson’s original graphic novel – he was in a darker place when he wrote and drew it, going through his own complicated struggle with his gender identity before finally making his personal transition in 2022 – but it certainly is rewardingly true to the book’s spirit and deep-down message of inclusion, positivity and being true to your core identity, which makes it one of the most important animated films to be made in a very long time. I’m so happy it’s received the TRULY MASSIVE amount of attention and LOVE it’s garnered since its release, and I thank Netflix and everybody else who made the effort to get this movie out after all when Disney seemed so reluctant to take a chance on it. This deserves to be seen, it NEEDS to be seen, and I urge you to check it out.
9. RENFIELD – my horror movie of 2023 sits very comfortably in the genre’s sub-category that I’ve always loved best, a jet black comedy of particularly rare quality and gleeful abandon that made it one of the most entertaining viewing experiences I had this past year. Yeah, like the best horror comedies it has enough genuine darkness that it CAN be genuinely scary when it wants to be, but given the sheer (literal) batshit craziness of its premise this is a BONKERS FILM, and so it wisely embraces its sheer lampoonery to full effect without reservation. Not that it’s overly surprising – director Chris McKay cut his teeth helming The Lego Batman Movie before branching out into live action with Amazon’s criminally underrated time travelling alien invasion blockbuster The Tomorrow War, both of which were excellent vehicles for him to master the gloriously anarchic style that he finally unleashes fully formed for this brilliant alternative sequel to the classic Universal Dracula movie with Bela Lugosi. That being said, the big box office draw here was always going to be Nicolas Cage, who pays loving tribute to Lugosi as the infamous Count, kicking into his typical “manic” setting to chew the scenery with ruthless abandon and, as a result, frequently steal the show right out from under Nicholas Hoult as his titular ghoul manservant, the long-suffering Robert Montague Renfield, who just wants the opportunity to finally find a real, simple life for himself and thinks he can pull it off in modern day New Orleans, only for his Master to himself become inspired by Renfield’s newfound ambition and set his sights on world domination with the help of the Lobos, a brutal local crime family. Thankfully Hoult DOES manage to hold his own in his scenes with Cage, as always proving ADEPTLY talented enough to deliver another winningly endearing performance while playing perhaps the single most pathetic specimen of his career to date … meanwhile the thoroughly adorable Awkwafina once again proves she’s well on the way to becoming the PREMIER kooky goofball female comedic lead in Hollywood as Rebecca Quincy, the one truly honest cop in one of the most corrupt police forces in all of America, who winds up falling for Renfield’s hangdog charm and puppy-dog eyes as he inadvertently becomes the key to her quest to bring down the Lobos after they murdered her legendary detective father. Shohreh Aghdashloo brings a much needed touch of class to proceedings as Bellafrancesca Lobo, the family’s seductively sly matriarch, while Space Force and Sonic the Hedgehog’s Ben Schwarz is a frequent non-PC laugh riot all on his own as her entitled constant disappointment of a son Teddy, and Ghosts’ Brandon Scott Jones is lovably flaky as the leader of Renfield’s endearingly pathetic support group for people trapped in toxic co-dependent relationships. This genuinely is a DEEPLY FUNNY FILM, perfectly geared up for a maximum hit count with the one-liners, in-jokes and situations, but then there’s no surprise here since writer Ryan Ridley (adapting a pitch from The Walking Dead’s original creator Robert Kirkman) is a seasoned veteran of TV comedy, particularly well known as an alumnus of the similarly edgy and madcap Rick & Morty, and this carries a lot of the same twisted, anarchic charm as that rightly beloved series, just in a much more big budget live action form. It’s also SPECTACULARLY bloodthirsty when it wants to be, the welcome reliance on what are clearly LARGELY physical effects meaning that this movie is another gore-hound’s wet dream, even if the film does mostly play the horror elements for laughs throughout, and it’s an impressively inventive and chaotic beast in THAT regard too, delivering some of the most gloriously OTT splatter-fuelled action sequences I’ve seen in a good while whenever Renfield eats a bug and gets an ultraviolent power boost. Altogether this is definitely some of the most fun I had at the cinema this past year, and I’ll admit I wouldn’t mind a bit more of this if they DID fancy trying the sequel road after all …
8. LEAVE THE WORLD BEHIND – Mr Robot was one of THE all-time great TV revelations of the 2010s, creator/showrunner Sam Esmail becoming a genuinely challenging counter-culture voice responsible for hard-hitting, thought-provoking material which really shook up the status quo. Shocking, then, that his only real notable foray onto the BIG screen was with the offbeat but ultimately overlooked romantic comedy fantasy Comet, but that balance has FINALLY been redressed almost a decade later with this powerhouse leftfield tour-de-force dystopian apocalyptic thriller from Netflix. Adapting the already hard-hitting, critically acclaimed novel by Rumaan Alam, Esmail wastes no time in weaving a spell of subtly inexplicable unease as we follow a family of well-to-do New Yorkers who take the opportunity to get out of the city for a break on the coast after renting someone else’s house for a long weekend, only for the owners to suddenly return in the night with tales of a blackout and more bafflingly worrying events unfolding in the outside world, hoping they can stay too until they know more. Feelings of distrust and paranoia immediately settle in and refuse to leave even as the two families warily get to know one another, but then things are getting WEIRD – the internet and TV are DOWN, drones are dropping indecipherable foreign propaganda from the skies and there are sudden bursts of head-splitting noise coming from SOMEWHERE … all too slowly it becomes clear that something truly terrible is happening, and that there’s more than just rumoured cyber-attacks at work here. This really is CHILD’S PLAY for Esmail, who’s clearly having a wild old time crafting a twisting, unnervingly unsettling suspense thriller which sticks the knife in and keeps on twisting as things get more worryingly desperate, all while casting a deeply critical eye on the state of modern society, capitalism, pop culture and pervading racial and social divides. Julia Roberts and Ethan Hawke are both typically EXCELLENT as Amanda and Clay Sandford, the white liberal upper class couple who find their deep-seated preconceptions forming their perceptions as they’re forced to deal with the as always truly MAGNIFICENT Mahershala Ali’s cultured stockbroker G.H. Scott and his brash, opinionated daughter Ruth (Industry and Bodies Bodies Bodies’ Myha’la), while there’s a brief but unsurprisingly POTENT turn from Kevin Bacon as Danny, the exact kind of paranoid, doomsday prepping redneck who’s probably gonna survive this coming apocalypse JUST FINE. There’s SO MUCH to unpack and explore in this film, it’s definitely one of those film’s that rewards repeat viewing with neat little twists, fascinatingly subtle hints and clues which lead to insidiously profound payoffs and more sneaky little easter eggs than you could EVER spot on a single viewing, leading to a truly HORRIFYING existential climax which will lead to many a sleepless night given the way this world seems to be heading. Speculative science fiction or worryingly potent prophecy? Only time will tell, I guess …
7. SPIDER-MAN: ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE – the animated feature that completely CHANGED THE GAME at the end of the last DECADE getting a sequel was pretty much a no-brainer, but it didn’t make the wait any easier, and after COVID put a dent in so many of the big releases coming forward this was definitely one of the most painful delays for me. Finally getting to see it was, therefore, ONE HELL of a cathartic release of tension, so much that even later discovering that not everything was exactly GOOD in the production studios at the time (namely the animators being crunched LIKE CRAZY by the ever-shifting nature of the vision they were being asked to realise, leading to a toxic working environment for many, which is NEVER cool) still didn’t dent my truly AWED appreciation for the finished film. Seriously, this is THE BEST animated feature we saw this past year, and ALREADY a strong candidate for best animated feature of THIS DECADE (although that’s likely to change if the incoming sequel turns out to be as good, if not BETTER, which it probability WILL). Honestly, I could end the review right here just with that recommendation, it’s GENUINELY THAT GOOD, people. But I still got a job to do here, so … once again, Miles Morales (Dope’s Shameik Moore), the new Spider-Man in his world, is at the centre of a whirlwind of narrative chaos as a new arch-nemesis he never knew he had emerges to hold him to account for what he did when he destroyed the Kingpin’s interdimensionally destructive supercollider in the first film – the Spot (Jason Schwartzman), a former scientist at Alchemax who got turned into a walking mass of unstable wormholes when he got hit with the full brunt of all that quantum energy. As he embarks on his quest to take his misguided revenge on Miles, his interdimensional spree of carnage leads our Spider-Man to become connected with a Multiverse-spanning cadre of Spider-People, led by the spectacularly stern Spider-Man of Earth 2099, Miguel O’Hara (Oscar Isaac), who police the various Earths in order to combat and remove “anomalies” that arise to threaten them … and
the Spot is a BIG ONE of those. Oh, and Gwen Stacy (Hailee Steinfeld), the Spider-Woman Miles most definitely fell for in the first film, has started working with them too after her own father, police Captain George Stacy (Shea Wigham), who’s had it in for their Spider-Woman after she was mistakenly framed for the death of their Earth’s Peter Parker, discovered her secret identity and made her run from her own dimension as a result …yeah, it sounds pretty complicated, but this whole twisted labyrinth is, nonetheless, unveiled in the exact same super-slick, viewer-friendly way the first film pulled off its own exposition, which just makes more room for all the FUN as we get to follow our old favourites and a whole host of fascinating NEW incarnations of our favourite arachnid-themed superhero on their various insane adventures. This is JUST AS SPECTACULAR in terms of action, character work, pure invention and sheer, unrivalled SPECTACLE as its predecessor, in many places upping the wow factor SIGNIFICANTLY (particularly during a particularly colourful visit to the distinctly Indian-flavoured alternative version of New York called Mumbattan, which is the stomping ground of one of the film’s most memorable new Spider-folk, the irrepressibly chipper Pavitr Prabhakar, voiced by Deadpool’s thoroughly brilliant Karan Soni). Indeed, the most fun we have throughout this movie is definitely getting to hang out not only with our old friends but all these newcomers too, with Pavitr being joined by the fascinating likes of the very coolest Spider-Woman after Gwen, Jess Drew (Awkward Black Girl’s Issa Rae), digital avatar Margo Kess/Spider-Byte (The Hunger Games’ Amandla Stenberg), overly-angsty living Todd McFarlane comic panel Ben Reily/Scarlet Spider (the incomparable Andy Samberg) and even Mayday Parker, the impossibly adorable new baby daughter of Jake Johnson’s welcome returning fan-favourite OG Peter Parker (and, of course, Miles’ original mentor from the first movie), who’s ALREADY got her spider-powers, while Miguel is a FANTASTIC character, brooding like a champ and sometimes proving to be as much of an EXTREMELY EFFECTIVE villain in the story as the Spot, especially once his beef
with Miles is revealed … but at the end of the day, ALL of these new arrivals thoroughly PALE in comparison to one of this film’s BEST secret weapons, Hobie Brown/Spider Punk (Daniel Kaluuya getting to use his normal accent for once), a misfit non-conformist anarchist JOY with one hell of a problem with authority (Miguel’s IN PARTICULAR) who effortlessly steals our hearts just as much as EVERY SINGLE SCENE he’s in. That being said, it really is SO GREAT having our old crew back – Miles and Gwen are SO SWEET, their chemistry is just OFF THE BLOODY CHARTS without them even trying, and I adore every single scene of them together, never mind their own individual storylines (it’s PARTICULARLY great getting to see Gwen herself get a SIGNIFICANTLY enlarged narrative presence this time round, becoming JUST as important in this story as Miles himself), while any time we get to spend with Johnson’s Peter is pure gold, and we get to spend even more time with Miles’ wonderful, loving, hard-working parents Jeff and Rio Morales (Brian Tyree Henry and Lauren Velez), which is ALWAYS a plus. Needless to say, this is a whole LOAD of fun, shot through with the same classic winning humour, wild invention, visionary experimentation, thematic resonance and pure geeky in-joke easter egg-packing FAN SERVICE that made the first film such a winner, but it also comes through BIG TIME with more of those wicked FEELS, this time ramping things up FAR MORE with the serious emotional HEFT as we’re presented with some truly DEVASTATING character arcs whose after effects are gonna be felt for A VERY LONG TIME after. The fact that this is just the first half of a two-part SAGA, with Beyond the Spider-Verse currently in the works, means that we can look forward to PLENTY MORE, although here’s hoping that this time they give their animators a little more BREATHING ROOM to get it done right WITHOUT having to break their backs in the process, yeah? Then again, with the writers’ AND actors’ strike barely over, the likelihood of THAT is pretty strong …
6. OPPENHEIMER – really, is there ANY SURPRISE over this placing so high? You know what a MASSIVE Christopher Nolan fan I am, and him making a proper EPIC historical biopic examining the career and achievements of the father of nuclear power was GUARANTEED to not only grab my attention but also thoroughly please the serious high-brow cinema appreciator buried inside me over all that action junkie, superhero fanboy and sci-fi-nut stuff … but yeah, this was ALWAYS gonna be a fucking amazing film, wasn’t it? Nolan’s most regular acting collaborator (outside of Michael Caine, anyway), Cillian Murphy, stars as J. Robert Oppenheimer, the theoretical physicist who spearheaded the Manhattan Project which led to the creation of the very first viable nuclear weapons which were then used by the American military to destroy the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki and end the Second World War. On the surface he seems like a driven, visionary man with a real fascination for the science he’s pioneering, but also a cool pragmatism which makes him the ideal man to usher in this astounding technological achievement, but as the film unfolds in Nolan’s typical non-linear narrative fashion we discover a far more complex man than we first supposed, Murphy unveiling Oppenheimer’s deep-seeded fears about the frighteningly real dangers his Project could give birth to. After all, he may have been the father of the Modern World, but this particular creation also gave rise to a century of technological horrors and a whole new, long lasting Cold War. Anyway, this is UNDENIABLY the greatest performance of Murphy’s career, if he doesn’t at least get an Oscar nod for this there’s no justice in the world, while, in typical Nolan fashion, the rest of the rich ensemble cast is a genuine embarrassment of riches, from Emily Blunt as Oppenheimer’s long-suffering wife Kitty and Florence Pugh as his ill-fated Communist mistress Jean Tatlock to Matt Damon as his nominal “boss”, Gen. Leslie Groves, Kenneth Brannagh as his mentor and idol Niels Bohr, the mighty Tom Conti as the even MORE awesome Albert Einstein and even Robert Downey Jr. in a particularly KEY role as Oppenheimer’s one-time colleague and later rival, Atomic Energy commissioner Lewis Strauss, who dominates the parallel narrative throughline presented over the course of the film as his own efforts to discredit and destroy the great man ultimately end up coming back to bite his own political ambitions. To a man, they’re all as MAGNIFICENT as the rest of the film, which is a fascinating journey into the dark heart of one of the greatest but also most historically and socially destructive scientific achievements in the history of the world, the man who ushered it in, and the hell he then went through afterwards when he then tried to make sure we didn’t make it SO MUCH WORSE once we had the power to destroy ourselves. It’s a film that raises extremely tough questions, and what answers we ARE able to come to are every bit as terrifying as any of the consequences that are either seen or merely suggested here. Nolan is, as always, A MASTER in the director’s chair as much as in the screenwriter’s corner, bringing his usual visionary flair and artistic brilliance to craft yet more of his trademark IMAX-rocking BEAUTY and opulence, while his sneaky, snaky narrative shenanigans once again frame things in ingenious, challenging and sometimes emotionally DEVASTATING ways before we’re brought to the bittersweet denouement. Tenet composer Ludwig Goransson’s expansive, evocative score is, ultimately, just the icing on the cake, making an already amazing film even more noteworthy. If this ain’t the toast of the Awards Season they really didn’t pay attention …
5. THE CREATOR – if ever there could be a film that would decry the state of the modern blockbuster blueprint, it’s this one. Seriously, that fact that something THIS fresh and original could flop in a market so saturated with cookie-cutter franchises and exhausted expanded-universe IPs just says it all, doesn’t it? Writer-director Gareth Edwards (along with screenwriter Chris Weitz, who previously worked with him on Rogue One) has had a look at our encroaching terror at the pervading rise of AI, taken a step back and looked at what COULD potentially happen if we actually end up OVERREACTING and blaming it for something which is actually entirely our fault … cue a troubling delve into a dystopian future where, after the accidental nuking of Los Angeles due to defence-Ai programming human error, the West has uniformly turned again artificial intelligence and set about waging an uncompromising war against it and the sentient androids it’s spawned. These survivors have fled to the more sympathetic nations of New Asia, but the oppressive machinations of the Western coalition and their obsessive hunt for the AI’s creator, Nimata, have given birth to a terrifying weapon, the deadly orbital weapons platform NOMAD. John David Washington is Joshua Taylor, a US Army sergeant who lost an arm and a leg in the LA blast, and then what innocence he had left in a subsequent ill-fated infiltration mission in New Asia, who’s drawn back into the fight by his former commanders when evidence emerges that his supposedly dead wife, Maya (an enjoyably complex turn from Gemma Chan), the daughter of Nimata he met and fell in love with on that mission, is still alive and in possession of a devastating weapon which they need to get hold of before it can be used to destroy the West. Going in with a special forces team, Joshua discovers that this so-called weapon is actually Alphie, an android child (newcomer Madeleine Yuna) with the power to control electronic devices, and he finds that the truth is nothing like what was led to believe … Edwards and Weitz have created a spellbinding science-fiction MASTERPIECE here, a breathlessly thrilling and expansively EPIC science fiction war saga which takes some challenging and thought-provoking ideas and heavy themes and takes a very interesting direction in their interpretation while posing profound questions about the nature of humanity, morality and love, all while delivering a truly intoxicating masterclass in peerless world-building, brought to astonishing living, breathing reality through some of the most seamlessly engineered visual effects I have EVER seen in a feature film (then again, Edwards DID start out as a visual effects artist, so he knows the game INSIDE AND OUT). Washington is an unusually complex, multi-layered hero as Joshua, fallible and driven by selfish desires but ultimately finding something much bigger than himself to believe in, while Yuna is a revelation, a sweet and inspiring little light in the darkness, while mighty support from the likes of Alison Janney, Ken Watanabe, Marc Manchaca (Ozark, The Outsider, No One Gets Out Alive) and Ralph Ineson rounds things out nicely. Powerful, inventive, affecting and endlessly thought-provoking, this deserves to be remembered not only as one of the most rewardingly original and genuinely brilliant movies of 2023, but of the entire decade, and I think it’s a genuine crime it wasn’t a massive hit like it deserved to be. Audiences really did SLEEP on this one …
4. MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – DEAD RECKONING, PART ONE – really, there should be NO SURPRISE that this topped off my list for the summer. I may have grown up with James Bond, and I LOVE the Jason Bourne movies too, but the Tom Cruise-starring cinematic adaptation of the classic TV spy show has been MY ABSOLUTELY FAVOURITE espionage-based film franchise since JJ Abrams established the tried-and-tested formula for the series with 2006’s seminal classic third entry. That being said, the franchise didn’t find its strongest voice until Cruise brought Jack Reacher writer-director Christopher McQuarrie (The Usual Suspects, The Way of the Gun) on board for the dynamite fifth instalment, Rogue Nation, which was so fucking brilliant and well received by both critics AND audiences that Paramount saw fit to retain his services on the EVEN BETTER follow-up, Fallout, which came DAMN CLOSE to equalling the heights of Sam Mendes’ Bond masterpiece Skyfall … so of course it was a NO-BRAINER for him to return once again for this two-part intended send-off for Cruise’s seemingly immortal superspy, Ethan Hunt, as he not only faces his deadliest foes to date, but also a very dark ghost from his own past. As with its predecessor, this is another spy flick where knowing as little as possible going in works best for your enjoyment, suffice to say that this time Ethan and his loyal friends, master hacker Luther Stickel (the legendary Ving Rhames), tech wizard Benji Dunn (Simon Pegg) and former MI6 spook Ilsa Faust (Dune’s Rebecca Ferguson), really have their work cut out for them when they’re forced to go rogue yet again in order to track down and deactivate a supermassive AI program known as the Entity which has become fully self-aware, broken free of its constraints and is now wreaking havoc throughout the internet and beyond.
Unfortunately this seemingly unstoppable digital force has enlisted the aid of a particularly dangerous “avatar” to represent its concerns in the real world, a mysterious terrorist known as Gabriel (Ozark’s Esai Morales) who seems to be following a dark agenda of his own. The ensuing race against time takes in a grand tour of impressively picturesque locales, a collection of winningly well-written characters and a series of knuckle-whitening, visually arresting action sequences that have long since proven to be McQuarrie’s bread-and-butter just as much as his ingeniously twisty labyrinthine plots and sparky, sharp-witted quickfire dialogue, again showing that he really is THE VERY BEST filmmaker that Paramount could EVER have found for this franchise. Needless to say, Cruise is as spectacular as ever in what really has become the very best role he’s EVER HAD, by this point basically just INHABITING Ethan’s easy charm, admirably solid, unswerving moral principles and truly INCREDIBLE physical prowess, delivering equally well in the truly insane stunt-work which WE KNOW FULL WELL IS ALL HIM as he does in the acting stakes; meanwhile Rhames, Pegg and Ferguson once again shine bright in their now comfortably well-established roles while still managing to bring fresh depths and interesting new arcs to their well-worn characters, we get a lot more of The Crown’s Vanessa Kirby’s intriguing notorious second-generation arms dealer Alanna Mitsopoulis/the White Widow, and it’s an IMMENSE pleasure to finally welcome back the first film’s prickly yet verbose antagonist Eugene Kitteridge (Henry Czerny), Ethan and Luther’s former boss in the IMF, in a far much expansive role this time round. Meanwhile the franchise newcomers all impress as well, Morales easily proving to be the series’ VERY BEST VILLAIN to date as he menaces, seduces and murders his way through the story, brutally tearing our heroes’ lives apart as he pursues his mysterious master’s nefarious ends, while we get a brand new series heroine in the form of Grace (the MCU’s own Peggy Carter, Hayley Atwell), a sly and duplicitous professional thief who essentially stumbles into the thick of the action before becoming Ethan’s EXTREMELY unwilling accomplice; meanwhile there’s strong support from Shea Wigham and Greg Tarzan Davis (who previously worked with Cruise on Top Gun: Maverick) as Briggs and Degas, a pair of US Intelligence agents sent to chase down the rogue IMF crew, and Cary Elwes as Denlinger, a particularly duplicitous US Director of National Intelligence. And then there’s Paris … ah Paris, my sweet, psychotic demon child. Guardians of the Galaxy’s Pom Klementieff actually gets to be FRENCH again as Gabriel’s unpredictably lethal pet killer, and she’s an absolute JOY throughout, so delightfully unhinged that she makes every second of her screentime an undeniable pleasure, and as a result she’s BY FAR my favourite character in this. Altogether, this is about as perfect as spy cinema gets, McQuarrie and his cast and crew working tirelessly to deliver not only the very best film in the series to date, but also the best film I saw all summer, very nearly my action cinema highlight of the whole year, and one of the VERY BEST spy movies I have EVER SEEN. Given the shake-up from the Strikes it’s not clear if we’re REALLY gonna get to see Dead Reckoning Part Two in May 2025 like it’s been slated since getting pushed back from its summer ’24 release,but whenever it DOES finally arrive, I KNOW it’ll be worth the wait … it just has to be bloody INCREDIBLE to be better than THIS ONE …
3. JOHN WICK CHAPTER 4 – and so, it has come to this … honestly, who’d have thunk it, back in 2014 when the first movie came out and (rightly) became a surprise sleeper hit that went a long way to revitalising Keanu Reeves’ career for a SECOND TIME as he found THE GREATEST ROLE HE’S EVER HAD, that almost a decade later it would’ve blown up into something THIS BIG?!!! I mean sure, back then it definitely was The Little Movie That Could, but still … well, after two increasingly BIG sequels which each maintained a surprisingly impressive level of quality throughout, the fourth and final John Wick chapter is finally here, and GODS is it good. I mean it’s FUCKING BRILLIANT. It just might be THE BEST ONE YET. Certainly it’s proving to be the most well received, landing BY FAR the best rating on Rotten Tomatoes and it genuinely seems like almost nobody has ANYTHING bad to say about this movie, even the CRITICS largely seem to LIKE this one. And it deserves every lick of love it’s been getting, this is definitely both the pinnacle of the series AND a perfect swansong for the greatest assassin in cinema history. I don’t wanna give too much away about the plot, even those who HAVE seen what’s come before shouldn’t be spoiled, even if these movies have never exactly been SHAKESPEARE in their construction they do still frequently leave you guessing in the best ways as to how they’ll turn out, and this one is definitely no exception. I’ll just say that, after all the killing John’s done to get to this point, his one-man-war with the international criminal network’s High Table has finally reached its zenith as Winston (the great Ian McShane), the Manager of the newly-demolished Manhattan Continental Hotel, gives him the means to finally find a way to get out and find peace while he’s still alive – namely by challenging the Marquis Vincent de Gramont (Bill Skarsgard), a high-ranking Table member who’s taken it upon himself to rid the criminal underworld of the “cancer” that John and his constant disrespect have wrought, to single combat in a ritualistic duel in order to take his place at The Table should he win. The
subsequent battle that ensues as John sets about facilitating this duel and the fallout that follows as he fights his way to that final, fateful meeting fuels the film in HIGH STYLE, so that even though this movie’s almost THREE HOURS LONG it never feels overlong or outstays its welcome. Once again the cast are all ON FIRE, Reeves once again proving that he is just about THE BEST LOOKING and most interesting action star working in Hollywood today when he’s mowing down endless bad guys with a stoic expression and the odd deadpan response, the role once again VERY MUCH playing to his strengths, while McShane and Laurence Fishburne (returning once again as the dethroned Bowery King) are both on fine form throughout, and it’s both a pleasure and privilege but also a genuine heartbreaking SHAME to watch the late Lance Reddick deliver one of his very last performances as Charon, the noble and quietly charismatic Concierge of the Manhattan Continental (at least he also shot one more turn as the character for the upcoming Ana de Armas-starring spinoff feature Ballerina, so it’s not QUITE the end); meanwhile the newcomers all serve admirably as well, with Skarsgard particularly impressing as one of the franchise’s best villains to date, slimy, entitled and exquisitely arrogant, the kind of Big Bad you just LOVE to hate, Wynnona Earp’s Shamier Anderson is a delightful revelation as Mr Nobody, a precocious up-and-coming hitman talent who certainly has a whole lot of potential for a possible future spinoff franchise of his own within this larger universe, Donnie Yen excels as usual as Cain, a former friend of John’s that the Marquis brings out of forced retirement in order to take the unkillable Baba Yaga out (clearly the filmmakers saw his blind badass take in Rogue One and they were like yeah, let’s have a whole lot more of THAT), Hiroyuki Sanada once more delivers effortless class and cool gravitas as Koji, the honourable and principled Manager of the Osaka Continental, and Scott Adkins is viciously impressive but also thoroughly surprising in an almost unrecognisable prosthetic getup as Killa Harkan, the brutish Head of the High Table in Berlin. In the end, though, we’re once again here primarily to MARVEL at all the action exploits on display while wallowing in some of the richest and most well-crafted world-building there’s EVER BEEN on the big screen – this is a thoroughly fascinating universe, realised with
exquisite precision with so many cool little winks and nods and in-jokes to make the geeks among us grin and chuckle with sheer joy over the immense bounty on display, while veteran stuntman-turned-director Chad Stahelski once again wrangles some of the VERY BEST cinematic action EVER COMMITTED TO FILM in a series of astonishing and punishing set-pieces bravely executed with nary a visual effect in sight. There are almost TOO MANY cool action beats in this movie to count, although the final BIG sequence, in which John fights his way up the spectacular but infamously punishing Stairs of Montmartre in Paris against an endless onslaught of thugs all determined to not let him reach the top, which includes one of the BIGGEST belly laughs I have EVER HAD at the cinema in my life, as much just over the joke’s sheer, ingenious AUDACITY, has to be the film’s undeniable highlight (closely followed by a genuinely INSANE run/gun/drive chase/shootout/fight sequence through the sheer chaos of the traffic around the Arc de Triomphe – every single one of these sequences is thrilling, they’re adrenaline fuelled and each crafted with such precision but also brilliantly varied inventiveness that it NEVER leads to vicarious battle fatigue. Best of all, though, as with the previous film’s there’s a surprising amount of soul and heart and heft to the film too, which ultimately leads to a climax which is both immensely satisfying but also pretty devastating in its emotional power. Altogether then, this was EASILY my action movie of the year, a fitting climax to an franchise which has come to SET THE BENCHMARK for this entire genre, and, honestly, just a damn fine movie in its own right.
2. NO ONE WILL SAVE YOU – the scariest movie I saw in 2023 is a very strange beast indeed, a genuinely original and very leftfield piece of work despite tackling one of the most classic movie plot tropes out there – the alien invasion of a small American town. What makes this such a noteworthy piece of work is that this film plays almost ENTIRELY without dialogue … SERIOUSLY, throughout the entire film’s run there’s only a SINGLE line of actual spoken dialogue delivered by its lead, the rest of the film relies entirely on sound effects and Joseph Trapanese’s atmospheric score alongside visual storytelling cues to gets its narrative across. It’s an incredibly brave prospect and one which I’ll admit I wasn’t even EXPECTING when I first sat down to watch Hulu’s most blindingly successful offering of the past year, it kind of snuck up on me realising that nobody was actually SAYING anything, but I still knew EXACTLY what was happening. This is because there’s ONE HELL of a writer-director at the helm of this project – I’ve been a big fan of Brian Duffield for a while now, having really loved his screenplay work in The Babysitter, Underwater and Love & Monsters, so when he dropped his actual FEATURE DIRECTING DEBUT in the middle of the Pandemic with 2020’s ingenious jet black teen comedy horror Spontaneous I was already onboard and in the aftermath simply COULD NOT WAIT to see what he’d do once he got his hands on a budget decent enough to actually deliver the kind of films he’d already been WRITING. But even so, this one STILL left me shocked by just HOW FUCKING AMAZING it actually is, seriously, this is almost certainly THE MOST IMPRESSIVE movie I’ve seen in the past year, and DEFINITELY its most important from a filmmaking standpoint. The story itself revolves almost EXCLUSIVELY around a slightly odd young woman named Brynn (Booksmart and Dopesick’s Kaitlyn Dever) living a seemingly idyllic but ultimately lonely life in her isolated home on the outskirts of a small town which seems to have universally shunned her for some initially unknown past crime … which means that she knows full well that there will, indeed, be NO ONE coming to her rescue when, one night, an alien walks into her home and starts tearing the place up using devastating telekinetic powers. She
manages to escape after accidentally killing the creature, but this simply makes things worse as, when morning comes, she discovers that the whole town is in the middle of a subtle but TERRIFYING alien invasion and that they seem to have marked her as a particular threat. From this beautifully simple starting point, Duffield has crafted a simply PERFECT scary movie, exquisitely paced and relentlessly driven as we hit the ground running the moment night falls after that initial time taken to establish Brynn’s place in the story, and he never lets off the brakes again until we reach the end. This is a genuinely TERRIFYING piece of sci-fi horror, with the varied creatures in particular presented in impressively near flawless standards of CGI which really should be used as a major benchmark moving forward with the artform, while the frequent and substantial knuckle-whitening set-pieces are executed with a precision that verges on the simply RUTHLESS throughout. It all plays out with a surprising denouement which feels cathartically PERFECT for everything that came before once you think about it a little, and the whole endeavour is aided ENORMOUSLY by the MASSIVE contribution of the film’s star herself – this is essentially a one woman show, and Dever easily proves the equal of the task, delivering an immensely potent performance that makes the striking lack of dialogue an ultimate significant VIRTUE since she’s able to convey SO MUCH with just a look, no matter the scene, so you find yourself latching onto her in the first ten minutes, meaning that when it goes from bad to worse to truly NIGHTMARISH you’re thoroughly invested in her desperate fight for survival. This really is a star-making role, and I don’t doubt she’s due for a MAJOR raise in her profile moving forward … altogether this is a genuine MASTERPIECE, easily one of the undeniable HIGHLIGHTS of the past cinematic year and a great sign of things to come, one would hope, should the rest of Hollywood take notice. Only time will tell … in the meantime take my advice, check it out and experience something TRULY SPECIAL …
1. DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: HONOUR AMONG THIEVES – so what, then, could POSSIBLY have beaten such astounding fare to the top spot this time round? If you’d asked me that at the year’s start I DEFINITELY wouldn’t have thought it could be THIS … I mean SURE, I love D&D as much as the next geek, but even so this felt like SUCH a shameless cinematic cash-grab from Wizards of the Coast and Disney (producing through Paramount) that I felt there was NO WAY it could REALLY be an actual GOOD FILM. At best I was expecting to be mildly entertained by a serviceable guilty pleasure, something that’s good for a Saturday night-in with a pizza and a six pack, not a genuine MASTERPIECE of cinematic adaptation. And yet, it turns out that’s EXACTLY what we got – this film has ONE HUNDRED PERCENT clearly been made with the utmost love and respect for the source material because the only possible interpretation for the way they wrote this was by taking Player’s and Dungeon Master’s handbooks, a Monster Manual, some character sheets and a few dice bags and just turning the mini-campaign that ensued into a two-hour screenplay. It’s clear that they are heavily steeped in respect and knowledge of the game itself, or were at least CONSTANTLY advised by experts who are, because this movie is AT EVERY STEP a pretty much PERFECT representation of the Forgotten Realms setting, the bestiary and even the game mechanics themselves IN ACTION, and it EVEN colours the way that the plot is laid out, how the characters interact and how some of the action sequences go. (Seriously – a perfectly executed knockout on a knife-wielding hostage taker with a hurled potato? That’s the Barbarian’s player landing a Natural 20 Critical Hit on their Attack Roll. It love it.) Sure, the results are likely to INFURIATE some people who think a little too highly about how FORMALLY WRITTEN their cinema should be, but for most folk this actually makes for a refreshingly honest and pretty unique piece of cinematic storytelling that actually works DAMN NEAR PERFECTLY from start to finish. It also helps that the writer-director duo in
charge here are a pair of stalwart comedy movie veterans, namely Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daly of Horrible Bosses, Vacation and Spider-Man: Homecoming fame, whose extremely enjoyable previous directorial collab Game Night actually likely provided a useful throughline for them to get into tackling this one. The main cast of dysfunctional heroes we follow through the story are even put together like a typical motley band of player characters – Chris Pine once again proves that he’s at his best when he’s doing broad comedy, thoroughly delightful as self-centred, opportunistic roguish Bard Edgin Darvis who, along with his platonic partner, tough-but-fair and sweetly naïve Barbarian warrior Holga Kilgore (played to absolute PERFECTION by Michelle Rodriguez in what’s UNDOUBTEDLY the best role she’s ever had, and definitely my FAVOURITE character here), enlists the help of bumbling, neuroses-riddled half-elf Sorcerer Simon Aumar (Pokémon Detective Pikachu’s Justice Smith, twitchy, unsure of himself and UTTERLY adorable) and shape-shifting Tiefling Druid Doric (It’s Sophia Lillis, forthright, dependable and immediately done with all of Edgin’s shit) to help them knock over the accumulated fortune of their one-time colleague, Rogue-turned-nobleman Forge Fitzwilliam (Hugh Grant once again expertly bringing home the scheming sleaze persona he’s perfected in more recent years now he’s finally said goodbye to his earlier days as an upper class heartthrob) and foil the dastardly machinations of the monstrous undead Red Wizard Sofina (a genuinely chilling and unsettling turn from Shadow & Bone’s Daisy Head); meanwhile there’s a top-notch supporting cast of “DM-controlled NPCs” that help the story flow and breathe as effortlessly as the main stars, from Bridgerton’s Rege-Jean Page as deliciously dry Paladin Xenk Yendar, the obviously-overpowered PC from another campaign that the DM brings in to help the party out when things go COMPLETELY WRONG for them, and Chloe Coleman (Gunpowder Milkshake) as Edgin’s estranged young daughter Kira, to Bradley Cooper in a truly INSPIRED and genuinely hilarious cameo as Holga’s decidedly diminutive ex-husband Marlamin. Every single one of these is a well-rounded, living-and-breathing vital person in their own right, and the writers have crafted them and their misadventures with proper precision throughout, while the world has been realised with genuine skill and clear loving attention to detail, as well as a welcome reliance on real sets and locations and good old fashioned physical make-up and animatronics over pure digital effects wherever possible. There are some pretty spectacular action sequences on offer here (the Underdark sequence with a decidedly overweight dragon is a particular highlight, although my personal favourite has to be the scene in which Doric has to pull off an unexpected escape by Wildshaping between different animal forms, all unfolding in a spectacular unbroken “single” take), but in the end this film is, first and foremost, a COMEDY, and while there’s plenty of heart and pathos on offer, as well as more than a little genuine DARKNESS here and there, ultimately almost everything is VERY MUCH played for laughs, and the end result is definitely the funniest film I encountered this past year. It’s also just about the most effortlessly ENDEARING film I’ve come across in a very long time, and I have to admit I am SO GLAD that it managed to defy my low expectations SO MUCH, I feel VERY HAPPILY HUMBLED that I was proved SO WRONG this time round. I’m genuinely hopeful that we get LOADS MORE of this going forward, I’d love a whole campaign’s worth of movies to grow out of this humble one-shot. Best get those D20s rolling again, guys!
#2023 in movies#nimona#renfield#leave the world behind#spider man across the spider verse#oppenheimer#the creator#mission impossible dead reckoning part one#john wick chapter 4#no one will save you#dungeons and dragons honour among thieves
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#fast x#fast x movie#barbie 2023#transformers rise of the beasts#the flash 2023#spider man across the spider verse#summer blockbusters#summer movies#the little mermaid#blue beetle#oppenheimer#mission impossible dead reckoning
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Knight-Captain Renauld was a veteran of the Shattering and one of the few Redmanes to have survived the Bloom of Aeonia, where Malenia the Severed unleashed the Scarlet Rot upon Starscourge Radahn and all the Caelid Wilds. In the days following the fallout it was his leadership that rallied the broken forces of Radahn's army, organizing the Redmanes and leading the first of many fiery purges as countless wriggling horrors began pulling themselves from the now befouled earth.
It wasn't until the lashing winds in the Bloom's wake no longer raged and the miasma of rot finally settled down to fester Caelid properly that a proper record could be taken of their losses... and of their enemies. When Renauld realized that only Radahn remained upon that accursed battlefield, his rage was immense, and upon his oath and that of a dozen other knights they launched a crusade to hunt down Malenia and finish what their now stricken and broken lord could not.
So it was that these knights thirteen scorched their crests in the manner that all other Redmanes would follow, and with their castle left in old Jerren's hands they hunted the wayward demigod. Across pillaged Limgrave and forsaken Liurnia they followed the wake of hated Finlay, loyal to the last, and through war-bitten Atlus Plateau did their march tread upon, and the horrors and terrors they confronted with bared steel and fiery resolve in the wake of the war to end all wars, who could say? For their tales have been lost to the waning of that most broken age, and of those vengeful thirteen only one of their number ever returned to blighted Caelid.
Rumors say that Renauld had dared to tread a measure in blasphemy itself, to scale those bitter peaks where the fire giants once echoed their own fiery fury across the mountaintops in Finlay's wake. Amongst the men-at-arms and knights is claimed that in those furious snowfields Renauld met his match, a duel at long last with Finlay staining the powdery white crimson with his blood and an eye taken for the cost of his oath unavenged... and some would whisper that he survived only from the intervention of a spirit, and the gracelessness in the eyes of the boy that returned home with him is proof of it.
In the days since his return, Renauld Whist has taken command of the remaining Redmane forces scattered across all of Caelid, and even now leads sorties against the corruption that has choked the heart of his homeland.
#v. graceless eyes beneath golden boughs condemn your birth / once curses rain from burning branches you’ll know your worth ( elden ring. )#// yeah sam's dad is certainly a guy of all time#// dude who actually still has grace in his eyes#// LITERALLY the only verse where the old man's still alive and kicking; too powerful to be kept alive in any other setting i reckon rofl
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